10 Dec How to Divide Family Heirlooms Among Siblings
When it comes to splitting up assets in the family, things can go from uncomfortable to hostile very quickly. Dividing heirlooms among siblings is an extraordinarily sensitive topic and it can be difficult to approach, especially when you’re already dealing with the loss of a parent. When inheritances are outlined in a will, it can make the process a bit easier. However, there are often valuable items—including emotionally valuable things—that don’t get listed in a will.
Even the closest brothers and sisters fight with each other once in a while. Siblings can find themselves in disagreement over who gets what, especially when everyone is grieving and emotions are high. Try to be respectful and kind as you deal with the situation together. These six steps will help you avoid arguments and distribute the family heirlooms in a way that’s fair to all.
Dividing Heirlooms Among Siblings: Six Important Steps
1. Schedule a Chat with Everyone Involved
Start with a conversation. That’s the best way to get everyone on the same page. At the initial point, don’t try to make any decisions. Talk about feelings, expectations, and wants. Try not to judge, and work on being open-minded. Remember—nothing is being decided yet, you’re all just opening up to each other and agreeing to make a plan as a team.
2. List the Heirlooms to Be Divided
This can happen as part of step one, or if the estate requires a lot of time to go through, you can draw up a list later on. If heirlooms are located in different homes, storage locations, or even in multiple states, this step could take some time. Make note of anything that someone has an emotional attachment to, and list all monetarily valuable items.
3. Consider Different Methods
It could be better to split heirlooms according to what everyone feels is fair, instead of dividing everything up according to financial value. Certain people may be attached to specific items. For example, Jane might really want Mom’s collection of antique silver spoons, and Richard only wants the ‘57 Chevy and doesn’t care what happens to the rest of the heirlooms.
4. Avoid Fights by Arranging a Draft
When there are items that more than one person wants and feels attached to—like jewelry, art, books, or keepsakes—use a draft system to decide who gets what. Try not to start with the oldest or youngest sibling, as this can lead to unfairness or create tension. Use a random picking system (choose a number, etc.) instead.
5. Document the Process
Once the heirlooms have been divided, it can be helpful to document the agreement in writing, particularly if there are valuable items involved. This can prevent misunderstandings and disputes later on. Once all the siblings are on board with a plan, have everyone sign it and distribute copies to each involved party.
6. Seek Guidance if Needed
If your family is struggling and can’t seem to come to an agreement on how to divide the estate, ask a professional for help. You may need a counselor or mediator to guide you to a mutual decision. It’s okay to admit you need a third party to step in—and it’s a good thing if it prevents further tension or contention in the family.
Establish Your Estate Plan Today
Do you have family heirlooms that you want to pass down to your children? Then it’s time to make sure your estate planning documents are all in order. If your parents didn’t make an estate plan, you’ve seen what it’s like to deal with the aftermath. You don’t want that for your children. Creating an estate plan is an act of kindness, and it’s also a great way to protect and provide for minor children in the case of an untimely death.
An estate planning attorney can help you eliminate uncertainty and prevent family disputes over inheritance. The established team at Phelps LaClair is here to assist you. We serve several cities across Arizona. If you’re interested in scheduling a free consultation, please give us a call today.
Images used under creative commons license – commercial use (12.10.2024). Photo by Joel Danielson on Unsplash.