26 Jan Estate Planning for Parents

It doesn’t matter how old you are or how much money you make; if you’re a parent, you need an estate plan. Legal documents like wills and trusts help you plan ahead so that your children are always cared for, no matter what the future brings.

First, we’ll cover the basics of estate planning for parents, including: writing a will, naming a guardian, and setting up a trust. Then we’ll go over a few different types of situations where extra steps may be needed: families with single parents, military parents, step-children, or children with special needs.

Three Basic Steps Every Parent Needs to Take 

No matter what your family looks like or how much money you make, if you are a parent, there are three steps you should take immediately. 

1: Write or Update Your Will 

A will should reflect your current circumstances. If you do not have one, or if it was written before any of your children were born, you need to take some time to write a new will. 

If you are starting from scratch, your draft needs to include the following information: 

• Your name and a statement about the purpose of the document
• A list of your assets and the beneficiaries for these assets 
• Names of legal guardians for children or other dependents (including pets) 
• Any specific instructions you would carried out if you die
• Your signature and the date 
• The signatures of two witnesses

If you are updating an existing will, you should double-check these details:

• Your list of assets and their beneficiaries is still accurate
• All of your children, grandchildren, or other dependents are named in the will

Regardless of whether you are starting from scratch or making updates, it is important to remember that your will is only valid if it complies with state laws. Like any legal process, estate planning can be complicated. Your wills should be reviewed by a legal professional who can ensure that there are no mistakes, and that it is properly witnessed and legally valid. 

2: Name a Guardian for Your Children

Choosing a guardian in the event of your death for a child or dependent can be a difficult choice. Just because it is difficult does not mean you should put it off. 

Here are several questions to ask yourself before choosing a guardian: 

• Is this person responsible and financially stable?
• Will they be physically able to care for your children long-term? 
• Will your children have to be uprooted in the event of your passing?
• Will they raise your children with the values and morals you wish them to have?

Once you find someone who you feel will be the right guardian for your children, you need to ask them. Being blindsided with this responsibility, especially while grieving, can be overwhelming and cause all sorts of problems. 

You should also have several alternatives. This is to ensure that it’s not left up to the courts to decide guardianship should something happen to your first choice. 

3: Set Up a Trust

You don’t need to be a billionaire to set up a trust fund for your children. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to protect their financial future. Trust funds can help shield your children’s inheritance from taxes, probate, and creditors. They also give you more control over how and when the funds are distributed. 

When you set up a trust, you will also appoint a trustee to manage the trust after you pass. This could be your children’s guardian or a relative, but it could also be an impartial third party like a financial advisor or a trust management firm. 

Some Families Need to Take Extra Steps

Estate planning can be a straightforward process, but there are some situations that need to be handled with a little more care. If you’re a single parent, a military parent, a step-parent, or the parent of a child with special needs, a simple will might not be enough. 

Single Parent Families 

When you are a single parent, you know the importance of contingency plans—from extra clothing for day trips to backup childcare. Planning for your child’s future should be no different. 

As a single parent, there are several important extras to consider: 

• Appoint a legal guardian for your children, and name one or two alternate guardians should your first choice be unavailable. 
• Set up a durable power of attorney. (This legal document appoints someone you trust to manage your affairs if you are incapacitated or otherwise unable to manage them yourself.) 
• Meet with an attorney to ensure that your will is appropriately witnessed and legally valid. 

These steps are especially important if you are worried about a certain family member taking over the care of your children. If you do not have a will that names a guardian, the court might appoint their care to an unreliable relative, or put them into a foster care program. 

Military Families

If you are an active member of the military and you have young children, estate planning is a must. 

Active military members should:

• Set up a living trust. This will keep your assets out of a probate court in the event of an unexpected death while on duty. 
• Include a pour-over will. This will make any unnamed assets transferred to your trust automatically if you pass. 
• Name a financial power of attorney. They will be able to make financial decisions for you and your children if you are unable, like if you are overseas. 
• Consider drafting a parental power of attorney for your children’s caregiver while you are deployed. As your agent, they will be (temporarily) able to make educational and medical decisions for your children when you can’t be reached. 

Veterans need to consider their life insurance and military benefits. Protecting them in an irrevocable trust can help ensure they cannot be changed or revoked and protect them from creditors. 

Families with Stepchildren, Adopted Children or Unmarried Parents

Blended families and families with unmarried partners or adopted children may need to take a few extra steps to make sure their wishes are carried out. 

Here’s what’s most important in complicated family situations:

• Make sure all children are named in the will, so that no one is excluded. Include specifics on how the inheritance will be divided. 
• Unmarried partners and those who have adopted a child should check to make sure that all their paperwork is in order when it comes to birth certificates, acknowledgement of parentage, second-parent adoption, etc., are correct.
• Set up a trust for any minor children you want to support. This will prevent their inheritance from being mismanaged or falling into the wrong hands.

Families with Children Who Have Special Needs

If you have a child with special needs, there are several extra steps you may want to take in your estate planning. 

Here’s what you can do to protect them:

• Consider setting up a Special Needs Trust. These irrevocable trusts will not interfere with eligibility for government benefits if the funds are used properly.
• Choose a trustee you can rely on. They should understand explicitly how to use the funds without putting your child’s benefits at risk. 
• Name a financial power of attorney. This person will be able to manage your finances for you if you are incapacitated by an injury. 

Don’t DIY Your Estate Planning! Let Phelps LaClair Help 

Securing your family’s future takes more than a few Google searches and crossed fingers. If you have children, you need to make sure your estate planning is legally valid and up to date. Our team at Phelps LaClair has over 40 years of experience creating sound estate plans that honor our clients’ wishes. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation.

 

 

Images used under creative commons license – commercial use (1/26/2026). Photo by Hoi An and Da Nang Photographer on Unsplash.